Slightly bit of panic

In three months, my parental leave ends. It means that I will have no more money from the state. 

2 years of solid income is now over. 

I also have no work to return to, as the company are in the progress of moving to Manila. 

(That they might regret today, as the flooding are really bad)

So My husband and I decided that I will do this. This means all the things I do today. 

But now I need to do it and earn money of it. And as far off earning money I could say that the only steady income will be cleaning. As I also do. 

But part from that, I will do designing, tailoring, furniture reconstruction, interior styling/decoration. 

And earn money. 

And it gives me slightly bit of panic. 

That soon we'll only be on one salary, trying to manage. What if I never earn anything, what if I fail in it all? 

The big shame, in trying but failing. Needing to go and find a "real" job. I don't want that. 

As that gives me even more panic. I juat ordered a new sewing machine, with the hope that it will be repaid, with the things I sell. 

With my job. And I Panic over, that it just might not happen. 

Oh gosh.